Loading ...Pseudo Cerumen Freakout
Posted by RaJ on July 28th, 2006
Note to Omar: this post contains a fine new “tasty word” if you know what I mean and I think you will.
Maybe it was the recent Happy New Ear post. For some reason, Anaglyph thought of me when he spotted this item.
That’s right: Ear Wax Candy, complete with “lollipop” q-tip. Honestly, I was a more than little disgusted.
Psych! No, I wasn’t disgusted at all but I was disappointed for a couple reasons:
- These have been around for at least two years (new to me)
- This one might have been in a warehouse the whole time
While the earwax is nice and sticky, it is kind of runny. No way could you roll and flick it, or make a little earwax snowman. Its consistency is closer to a hacked-up loogie than earwax.* And I was hoping for something a little more… cloudy. I’m not complaining, mind you; it’s quite tasty, and that’s what matters most.
Though I must admit I’m not keen on the whole q-tip thing. I mean they’re yummy and all, but for earwax extraction? I’ll stick with my finger, thanks.†
* Using my own as a reference. Your earwax may vary.
† Pun intended.
July 28th, 2006 at 8:41 am
My dear husband called this morning to tell me about his phlegm resembling a piece of breaded, boneless chicken patty. I hung up in disgust only to open this post.
My day can only get less repulsive, right?
Congrats on the sick-o candy, dad. “Ear” you going to share? HAHAHA!
July 28th, 2006 at 9:23 am
Unbelievable. I guess *I* need to call him. There’s no excuse for his behaviour; how could he *not* think to take pictures for me? Hello! Camera-phone?!
July 28th, 2006 at 11:25 am
“ear” you going to share?! The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree
I don’t know if I could use that “tasty” word, RaJ. Unless you meant “candy,” because I could totally use that.
July 28th, 2006 at 12:50 pm
I’m 99% sure I wrote my own name incorrectly here, but I’m just learning. I’ll get better at it.
I’m sorry J-RaD for starting your day off like that. I only do it because it makes me laugh and somewhere in my thought process I think “(J-RaD) would love to hear about this. She’ll probably laugh also!”. I guess I was wrong.
July 28th, 2006 at 2:27 pm
Eeeeeeewwwwwwww!!!!
July 28th, 2006 at 3:50 pm
Omar - they do make me proud. And if you’re not sure about earwax as a tasty word, maybe a poll could help you decide. :-O
ARaX - Looks right to me, although you’re free to use pretty much any name you want. Re: your apology, a suggestion - in my experience, using the phrase “thought process” in a spousal apology is almost always a bad idea. It’s like, a wide-open doorway to all kinds of places you really don’t want to go. Your monkeys may vary, of course.
Cate - thanks!
July 28th, 2006 at 6:21 pm
Ditto cate’s ewww! Well, at least the whole family has a good sense of, ummm….cerumen?
July 28th, 2006 at 6:22 pm
PS- I’m all for your motto at the top: make feiends, not clowns.
July 29th, 2006 at 11:39 am
After getting over my initial shock at the post, I was all delight to hear about this candy. Awesome! And then I got into the comment string and was in stitches over J-RaD’s pun and aRaX’s “thought-process.”
Disgust and humor in one post!
July 29th, 2006 at 4:36 pm
It’s like green ketchup. I could never eat it, just because.
July 30th, 2006 at 9:45 pm
That’s how cannibalism starts.
July 31st, 2006 at 6:33 am
No, the absolute grossest candy I’ve seen it awhile was spotted at the local Wal-Mart store.
Harry Potter’s Roach
I sure hope that’s a legal roach and doesn’t come packaged with Harry Potter’s bag o green buds.
August 8th, 2006 at 5:37 pm
There’s a word for that. You know, those things that while on/in your body are perfectly natural and normal, but once they LEAVE your person, become totally disgusting. Things like hair, and ear wax and fingernails. Oooh… Fingernail candy.