Loading ...Pseudo Cerumen Freakout
Posted by RaJ on July 28th, 2006
Note to Omar: this post contains a fine new “tasty word” if you know what I mean and I think you will.
Maybe it was the recent Happy New Ear post. For some reason, Anaglyph thought of me when he spotted this item.
That’s right: Ear Wax Candy, complete with “lollipop” q-tip. Honestly, I was a more than little disgusted.
Psych! No, I wasn’t disgusted at all but I was disappointed for a couple reasons:
- These have been around for at least two years (new to me)
- This one might have been in a warehouse the whole time
While the earwax is nice and sticky, it is kind of runny. No way could you roll and flick it, or make a little earwax snowman. Its consistency is closer to a hacked-up loogie than earwax.* And I was hoping for something a little more… cloudy. I’m not complaining, mind you; it’s quite tasty, and that’s what matters most.
Though I must admit I’m not keen on the whole q-tip thing. I mean they’re yummy and all, but for earwax extraction? I’ll stick with my finger, thanks.†
* Using my own as a reference. Your earwax may vary.
† Pun intended.
July 28th, 2006 at 8:41 am
My dear husband called this morning to tell me about his phlegm resembling a piece of breaded, boneless chicken patty. I hung up in disgust only to open this post.
My day can only get less repulsive, right?
Congrats on the sick-o candy, dad. “Ear” you going to share? HAHAHA!
July 28th, 2006 at 9:23 am
Unbelievable. I guess *I* need to call him. There’s no excuse for his behaviour; how could he *not* think to take pictures for me? Hello! Camera-phone?!
July 28th, 2006 at 11:25 am
“ear” you going to share?! The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree
I don’t know if I could use that “tasty” word, RaJ. Unless you meant “candy,” because I could totally use that.
July 28th, 2006 at 12:50 pm
I’m 99% sure I wrote my own name incorrectly here, but I’m just learning. I’ll get better at it.
I’m sorry J-RaD for starting your day off like that. I only do it because it makes me laugh and somewhere in my thought process I think “(J-RaD) would love to hear about this. She’ll probably laugh also!”. I guess I was wrong.
July 28th, 2006 at 2:27 pm
Eeeeeeewwwwwwww!!!!
July 28th, 2006 at 3:50 pm
Omar - they do make me proud. And if you’re not sure about earwax as a tasty word, maybe a poll could help you decide. :-O
ARaX - Looks right to me, although you’re free to use pretty much any name you want. Re: your apology, a suggestion - in my experience, using the phrase “thought process” in a spousal apology is almost always a bad idea. It’s like, a wide-open doorway to all kinds of places you really don’t want to go. Your monkeys may vary, of course.
Cate - thanks!
July 28th, 2006 at 6:21 pm
Ditto cate’s ewww! Well, at least the whole family has a good sense of, ummm….cerumen?
July 28th, 2006 at 6:22 pm
PS- I’m all for your motto at the top: make feiends, not clowns.
July 29th, 2006 at 11:39 am
After getting over my initial shock at the post, I was all delight to hear about this candy. Awesome! And then I got into the comment string and was in stitches over J-RaD’s pun and aRaX’s “thought-process.”
Disgust and humor in one post!
July 29th, 2006 at 4:36 pm
It’s like green ketchup. I could never eat it, just because.
July 30th, 2006 at 9:45 pm
That’s how cannibalism starts.
July 31st, 2006 at 6:33 am
No, the absolute grossest candy I’ve seen it awhile was spotted at the local Wal-Mart store.
Harry Potter’s Roach
I sure hope that’s a legal roach and doesn’t come packaged with Harry Potter’s bag o green buds.
August 8th, 2006 at 5:37 pm
There’s a word for that. You know, those things that while on/in your body are perfectly natural and normal, but once they LEAVE your person, become totally disgusting. Things like hair, and ear wax and fingernails. Oooh… Fingernail candy.
February 10th, 2010 at 3:14 pm
[…] You can also feast upon chewy eyeballs, brains, ears, noses and severed feet, but grossest of all? Earwax candy, consumed with edible Q-tips. […]