Loading ...Close to the Edge
Posted by RaJ on May 16th, 2006
One of my all-time favorite albums, the title describes my current location: I’m ready to snap, break, go over the edge. Why? Simply put, a co-worker’s cell phone. The nearby, unattended one with the mind-bogglingly annoying max-volume, vibrating John Philip Sousa “Stars And Stripes Forever” ringtone.
One of my all-time favorite tools: a recoilless, “dead-blow” hammer. The cell phone in the picture is mine, not the co-worker’s. But this illustrates what will happen to my STUPID co-worker’s STUPID phone if the guy continues to leave his STUPID phone in his STUPID cube and some STUPID person continues to call his STUPID number over and over which of course triggers that STUPID ringtone, which then shatters what little concentration I’ve managed to recover since the LAST STUPID call.
Though I would thoroughly enjoy destroying his phone I realize there might be less confrontational, more “constructive” solutions… but I can’t think of any. Suggestions welcome, the sooner the better. Ideas, anyone?
(Update) Spacemonkey gave me an idea.
May 16th, 2006 at 10:04 am
Ummm, use an unguarded cell phone moment to change the ring tone? (I’ve done this before to my beloved husband and his dang classical music) I’ll peruse the online catalog today to see if there are any good YES ring tones.
Look on the bright side, it could be the dreaded “Crazy Frog” ringtone. That hit number one for downloads in the U.K. last year.
May 16th, 2006 at 10:46 am
Perhaps you need to create a hotmail account under the name of “Ring Tone Police” and send an email to your coworker reminding him that there will be an unannounced raid to confiscate all unattended cell phones.
Or, you could put it in his drawer.
May 16th, 2006 at 10:46 am
This has happened at work for myself as well. Except my manager can hear her ridiculous ring, she just doesn’t answer it.
As to solutions: Pick up the cell-phone and say “I’m really sorry, but the person you are trying to call is not available, as you may have realized that first time you called. Please leave a message on his voicemail, and stop calling!” That’s what I would do anyways.
Though I’m definitely digging the hammer.
May 16th, 2006 at 10:54 am
I’ve had luck with the phone-dropped-in-the-coffee bit. Effective. Quick. Makes coffee taste a bit metallic, but it’s worth it.
May 16th, 2006 at 12:54 pm
Just remove the battery? Throw the cell phone out the window? Bury the phone deep in the lunchroom freezer?
May 16th, 2006 at 4:26 pm
I go with the change the ring tone concept. Or just turn his phone to silent. And maybe hide it. And when he calls it to make it ring so he can find it, he won’t be able to.
I like the hammer, though. Permanent solutions are always so much more satisfying.
May 16th, 2006 at 4:28 pm
Elasticwaistbandlady - I know nothing of Crazy Frog. With any luck I can stay ignorant for a long time.
Lianne - hello! The drawer sounds good; our corp. server might filter hotmail.
KRaD - that sounds really satisfying. No one could ID me… that’s *really* tempting. Note - hitting stuff with a dead-blow hammer borders on addictive; make sure you have a buddy along to help you. Stop. Eventually.
Gia -
I’ll have to check for a cup near his desk.
Cate - Windows don’t open so I’d have to settle for throwing it *at* the– hmm. That would work, too…
Lia - I *could* silence and hide it. Obviously he doesn’t pay close attention to where he leaves it. Yes, the hammer still sits pretty high on the Satisfying list.
May 17th, 2006 at 1:18 am
well I’m not sure but I’m guessing he’s not there and that’s why it keeps ringing and bugging you? Maybe sneak in there and turn it off? If there’s some kinda office ‘law’ about cells then you could go over his head and rat him out for some peace and quiet?
May 17th, 2006 at 2:54 am
Umm, what ever happened to the thing you suggested (if it existed) for me and my cell phone aggravation? The Jammer! (no pun intended. Maybe.) I know they have cheaper models elsewhere online. But the hammer, however, is less expensive and a more gratifying and permanent solution.
May 17th, 2006 at 7:55 am
Amber, sometimes he *is* there. I can tell because the sound changes when he picks it up, apparently to see if he wants to answer it or not. And we’re mostly lawless here so, no go on the over his head part.
Wendela, pun appreciated nonetheless. I wonder if a Jammer could be selective enough to not affect the phones used by more considerate co-workers…
May 17th, 2006 at 7:58 am
Just curious, but do you stand at attention, remove your hat, and put your hand over you heart in salutation every time his patriotic ring toned phone starts ringing? Loss of work productivity is grounds for filing a complaint against him and his phone.
May 17th, 2006 at 8:07 am
Yes! I could stand on my desk and direct everyone else to do the same. Then it’s just a matter of who’s better able to withstand humiliation and embarrassment, and clearly I have the advantage there.
May 17th, 2006 at 2:08 pm
The Da Vinci Code? The Da Vinci Code?!? Shakleton would not approve!
I, however, am updating my reading preferences. Damn you.
-C.
May 17th, 2006 at 4:38 pm
Maybe he’d approve of using any number of copies as fuel. Or possibly the construction of a land bridge… no. That would surely cause irreversible pollution. Burning, then.
May 17th, 2006 at 5:28 pm
Isn’t there anybody you would like to talk to who lives far, far away? Like, EXPENSIVELY far away? Someone you could chat to for, say, an hour or so?
May 18th, 2006 at 10:18 pm
My feelings on cell phones are well documented. I think you should go for a more aggressive approach, like kicking the co-worker in the shins or smashing his car windows.
I really don’t like cell phones.
May 19th, 2006 at 8:44 am
Glad to inspire you.
Salt water will do the trick too without the disassembly, .