Let’s play “See if he remembers how to insert pics in a blog post.”

Okay yes, I cheated and copied stuff from an existing post. But it worked, and I think that’s all that matters. Those with opposing views can discuss the matter with my new-found feiend in charge of the Radioactive Complaint Department.

Greetings. 

Have I mentioned I’m in Japan - working, sad to say, not touring - for the month of August? I haven’t mentioned? Maybe that’s because of my UNBELIEVABLY HORRIFIC SLOW internet connection here?

Nevertheless, Japan = awesome++.

Awesome.

I’d post pics but cannot because UHS connection means no uploading.

Perhaps when I get back to the US, hmm?

I have managed to go on a day trip to Miyajima, which was cool. There were supposed to be hordes of wild monkeys roaming the island; I saw none.

None.

NONE.

*sigh*

Maybe next weekend!

Here’s a snippet of pseudocode I wrote this afternoon:

if ( ( lunch == slim_jim * 4 + jack_cheese ) && PM_meeting ) /*then*/
gas_problem = true;

This code runs in a TMI context.

Just another ordinary day at work: look at code, mess with PowerPoint slides, get chased around the parking lot by a sentinel robot…

You know. Same old, same old.

Disclaisure: the TALON Robot that chased me is not in fact equipped with grenade launchers.

Yet.

* * * * *

Do I love my job? Yes. Yes, I do.

Yes, this is today’s second post. No, it’s not likely to become routine. Then again, what do I know? I’m just the monkeys’ minion.

The primary business owners of my new, shared-space workplace seem overly fond of large, framed motivational/inspirational posters; they’ve mounted at least fourteen of ‘em along the three hallways I can see from the lobby. I’ve walked past the one shown below dozens of times, but only glanced at it. Until this morning.

You can’t read the text, but it says, and I quote,

ANGER MANAGEMENT
Never direct your rage at coworkers - that’s what your family is for

I swear I am not making this up. If you don’t believe me, visit this page and click through the picture - titled “World’s Most Dysfunctional Inspirational Poster - for a readable image.

I expect this kind of thing from say, Despair.com, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t one of their products. Guess I’m not used to seeing such edgy - what, sarcasm? Attempts at humor? - in these typically stodgy posters. Then again, maybe I’m just jealous because I didn’t think of it first.

What do you think, my feiends? Have you seen any similar surprise messages in so-called motivational posters?

But I am. Locked inside the nice white building with the target circle around it. Sorry I can’t tell you more; if I did you’d want to kill me I’d have to kill you because it’s way nerdy boring secret.

* * * * *

Won’t it be fun when Teh Google starts to deliver real time satellite imagery for (and of) the masses? I don’t think they’re “there” yet but seriously, how long before you can go to some outdoor spot, open your browser and watch yourself watch yourself browse?

When the day arrives, make sure you don’t view yourself from behind; people might stare at you when you shout, “Gaah! Is my asterisk really that big?!”*

* I’m pretty sure the atmosphere adds at least ten pounds.

Your Radioactive Overlord is in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, separated from family and real-life feiends for the next two weeks as he once again sacrifices both brain and body for The Man. With any luck he will free himself from the heinous curse of this 3rd-person existence and find time to visit blogs, comment et cetera.

But during the daytime not so much, because he will be working on a secret project at a highly secure location, from which blogging would earn him a definite Naughty-Naughty and possibly other sanctions.

Laterz kittehs.

At work we have a special magnetic white-board so the Top Banana knows who’s in and who’s out. Can you guess which marker is mine?

Today is Moving Day. We’re relocating to a smaller office, a kind of physical down-sizing. And a few months from now? Why, resource down-sizing of course. Yes Virginia that would be human resources.

In other words I will soon be radioactively unemployed. Whee!*

I gotta pack.

Update - finished. Computer, books, pictures, pens, toys - all the material bits related to my employment are now crated and ready to move.

Wish I could say the same.

I went back inside our nearly vacant building one last time to sulk soak in emptiness and melancholy. Glad I did; I’d forgotten to remove my nameplate† from my cube wall.

Human resources indeed.

* Typed with 100% homogenized sarcasm.
† I made this as a joke at my last job. The more things change…

When Superman flies way fast, what happens when he gets like, bugs or dirt in his eyes? I mean sure he’s Invulnerable and everything, but still. An insect to the eyeball at high speed? Even if it doesn’t injure him, it’s still gonna happen. Wouldn’t that be a problem?

He doesn’t even squint when he flies. Don’t you think that’s a little strange?

Our pizza-fueled software testing marathon continues.

Yesterday’s score:

• 1 pepperoni
• 1 sausage
• 2 pineapple & chicken
• 4 “meat”

Anyone notice a pattern with our pizza-eating preferences?

And in unrelated bloggage, I’ve decided my new catch-phrase will be:

The Mistral made me do it!

Which is of course all Stella Devine’s fault. When you click through to blame visit her, tell her I said hello.