Yet another must-have item: Office Monkey Play Set!

Dear World In General & Family In Particular,

I want.

Your feiend in radioactivity,
me

By all means read the CNN story, but I think the headline says it all: Monkeys control robots with their minds.

If, like me, you now have visions of monkey-controlled, marauding red-eyed robots destroying everything in their path, have no fear. I am sure this technology will only be used for good.

I tracked down our illustrious Radioactive Jam staff member and resident meta-geneticist Dr. Francis Enstine (”Don’t call me Frank.” “Okay.”) and asked him about this monkey-brained robot research project. Dr. Enstine (”Call me Frank.” “Okay.”) seemed quite excited about it. He said, and I quote, “Plausible deniability!” then suddenly remembered he had an urgent appointment “somewhere” to do “something.”

Robots controlled by the minds of monkeys, my feiends. It doesn’t get any better than this in the radioactive realms.

While the CNN article linked above was released today, the technology has apparently been around for awhile. In fact, this article from November 2000 adds a truly disturbing fascinating twist: monkey brain signals - transmitted over the internet - controlled a robot arm 600 miles away.

Let’s review, shall we? Monkeys can control robots using their brains, and thanks to the magic of the internet they can do so from hundreds of miles away.

I heart technology, don’t you?

A grateful radioactive hat tip to blog and Twitter feiend Omar for bringing the CNN story to our attention. Thanks!

I finally let the monkeys hack update my blog to the latest version of WordPress. If you notice anything that seems more broken than usual please let me know.

Guess I better figure out if the ever so ballyhooed ‘tags’ are– hey! There’s a new widget in the post edit window. “Insert poll?” Oh I have GOT to try that one!

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

Wow that’s pretty not exciting. Maybe there are some settings… somewhere.

Er.

The monkeys will sort things out I am sure.

Update Apparently the widget only works with existing polls; maybe nonexistent polls will be supported in a future release. As a proof of - concept? widget? - here’s a nice, nerdy poll from April 2007. Enjoy.

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That’s right my feiends: only four shopping days left until the 14th of December, better known as Monkey Day.

In case you’ve blocked the memory forgotten, here’s how Monkey Day unfolded last year in the radioactive realms.

This year’s Monkey Day will be special, too; on Friday I’ll announce the poor unfortunate soul lucky winner of a monkey prize for the still not finished radioactive scavenger hunt. Woohoo!

Disclaisure: everyone who suggested an item is eligible for the prize. All prizes - okay there’s only one but still - will be awarded. Winner will be selected by an ad hoc committee of radioactive staff members i.e. resident meta-geneticist Doctor Francis (”Don’t call me Frank.” “Okay.”) Enstine, several of his minions helper monkeys, and a container of sentient ooze. Decision of the selection committee will be final and with any luck, decipherable.

Ook?!

On a recent visit to a Multicultural Centre, blog feiend Dawn found this item… and thought of me.

Dawn - mere words cannot express my deep gratitude for your having shared this with me. Thanks!

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE

Found for sale - where else? - on eBay. Note to anyone contemplating giving this to your only favorite Radioactive Overlord as a Christmas gift: check with me first; I might not be able to wait that long.

And thanks to a comment from Evilducky77, I’m now pondering chocolatey monkey farts.

Imaginary souvenir t-shirt: “My family went to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina and all I got was this AWESOME monkey.”

My feiends, this monkey totally rocks.

And screeches.

Believe me when I say this is just the tip of the radioactive monkey iceberg.

Plans for world domination proceed apace.

Email from Radioactive Daughter J aka ^JRaD regarding grandson Will (emphases added):

Good morning!

So far, we’re perfectly comfortable with Will’s new mirror-friend. Last night he invited him to the waterslide, but neither one of them could get outside.

However, this morning I encountered a new “friend” of his that I thought would lie more in your area of expertise….

While eating his breakfast, he started waving, pointing and shrieking happily to the monkey standing in the seemingly thin air. (I DID check several times, by the way). He informed me it was “Wight Dere, Mommy!”

Wild imagination or something more sinister?

Hmm.

Monkeys you say?

Hmm.

And you didn’t see anything?

. . .

I know a good eye doctor; probably we should schedule an appointment.

For you.

A radioactive creation following the ‘lolcats’ paradigm.

I do hope someone reads between the lines, so to speak - or in this case between the Franken Monkeys - and notes the lovely pun depicted therein.

My first can of brand spanking new BAWLS Cherry is chilling even as I type; you can expect a thorough iQuaff review “soon.” So until next time this is Radioactive Jam saying, “So long my feiends, and may all your quaffage be tasty.”

Update: possibly the world’s only Monkey Day song added!

Why is this monkey smiling?

1. It’s Monkey Day
2. He’s a Monkey Day gift from Radioactive Spouse
3. He’s the new Radioactive Mascot
4. He pooted
5. ‘Cheese’ pooted
6. You pooted
7. All of the above

The correct answer is #4. Kidding! It’s #6. Not! Well maybe but seriously, it’s #7. And I have yet another reason to say “I heart my Radioactive Spouse.”

Best. Monkey Day. Ever. Endless love and thanks to Radioactive Spouse, whose journey to the dark side monkey side is now complete.

Amazingly versatile blog feiend Steph composed a special Monkey Day song. Here for your listening pleasure and amusement, the world premiere release of O Monkey Day, written and performed by the one and only Steph!

And I thought the day couldn’t get any better. Who knew? Steph - thanks. You are a feiend extraordinaire.

December 14 is Monkey Day. Local radioactive festivity planning in progress. UPDATE: a Monkey Day gift! For me!

Aside: I’ve pretty much been a no-show on comment interaction around here, and not much better elsewhere. Busier than usual times at work have meant fewer, shorter “breaks.” I deeply appreciate your taking the time to comment; you brighten my day and I wanted to at least offer a collective Thank You! for doing so.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I seem to have misplaced a jar of radioactive antimatter…