While Plurk addiction is common in the Plurk user community, Mad Plurk Disease (MPD) is more serious and not easily recognized. Make no mistkae: if you are an active plurker, you are at risk!

As a plurking public service I have put together this list of common warning signs. You might have MPD if you:

• have ever plurked “Look at the time!” or similar
• plurk “Hi” and/or a single emote
  • and other plurkers respond
  • and extol your cleverness
• hope traffic lights stay red longer so you can plurk while you wait
• type emote strings such as (s_dance) anywhere other than plurks
• postpone or neglect sleep, meals, and/or personal hygiene so you can continue plurking without interruption
• wake up in the shower
  • with a plate of food
  • and a “zip-lock” bag
  • with your laptop inside it
• coerce family members and friends to join plurk (aka “sharing the fun” aka “spreading the disease”)
• make up words and change nerdy acronyms to incorporate “plurk” e.g. ZOMPWTPBBQ! Absoplurkinglutely!
• use the word ‘plurk’ as a verb
  • in a real-life conversation
  • with anyone
  • ever
• “accidentally” take your cell phone for a swim so’s you can upgrade to a shiny new web-enabled model without incurring the wrath of your ever-frugal spouse
• think about adding your karma level, friends and fan totals to your C.V. or résumé (note: if you’ve already done this, get help. NOW.)
• add ‘Stalker’ as a résumé skill
• add ‘Stalker’ as a résumé objective
• blog about plurking
  • and plurk a link to the blog post
  • and respond in both places
  • with plurk emotes
• re-post and/or re-plurk this list

Aside to family and friends: don’t worry, not all these symptoms apply to me.

I’m still working on my résumé.

Confession: while I *am* taking a blog break, I’m still in/on/addicted to plurk. Here’s a way exciting semi-live feed for your amusement and/or annoyance.*

Plurk.com

Remember - you too can plurk! Sign up here† and help me earn one of these: UPDATE I need ONE MORE person to sign up. *looks around* you! Yes, you. Will you be the one? I will thank you and thank you I promise.

* If this semi-live feed makes your RSS doohickey go nuts and you want me to Make It Stop For The Love Of Plurk, just let me know kthxbai
† Please note you do not have to actually *use* Plurk for me to earn teh points. Just pleading whingeing saying.

is plurking.

Plurk might be the single greatest time sucking black hole I’ve ever encountered on the internets. Plurk is essentially a web-based messaging interface (they do have a limited mobile ‘face as well but I haven’t tried it). An individual “plurk” is a simple 140-character message which will typically take on a life of its own and become a response-filled thread. It’s like mini-post blogging - and commenting - at hyperspeed. It’s fast. It’s relentless. It’s insane.

It’s. A. Blast.

It’s not for the faint-hearted. If you’re ADD or even just easily distracted, proceed with caution. Allow yourself a little time to get addicted acclimated and you’ll be fine.

If you check it out, will you be able to make sense of what you see? Probably not right away. If you sign up and start plurking will you begin to enjoy yourself in short order? Absoplurkinglutely.

Stop in and plurk me sometime, eh?

By all means read the CNN story, but I think the headline says it all: Monkeys control robots with their minds.

If, like me, you now have visions of monkey-controlled, marauding red-eyed robots destroying everything in their path, have no fear. I am sure this technology will only be used for good.

I tracked down our illustrious Radioactive Jam staff member and resident meta-geneticist Dr. Francis Enstine (”Don’t call me Frank.” “Okay.”) and asked him about this monkey-brained robot research project. Dr. Enstine (”Call me Frank.” “Okay.”) seemed quite excited about it. He said, and I quote, “Plausible deniability!” then suddenly remembered he had an urgent appointment “somewhere” to do “something.”

Robots controlled by the minds of monkeys, my feiends. It doesn’t get any better than this in the radioactive realms.

While the CNN article linked above was released today, the technology has apparently been around for awhile. In fact, this article from November 2000 adds a truly disturbing fascinating twist: monkey brain signals - transmitted over the internet - controlled a robot arm 600 miles away.

Let’s review, shall we? Monkeys can control robots using their brains, and thanks to the magic of the internet they can do so from hundreds of miles away.

I heart technology, don’t you?

A grateful radioactive hat tip to blog and Twitter feiend Omar for bringing the CNN story to our attention. Thanks!

Coming soon to the radioactive overlord near you.

You know you want one, or you know someone who would. Admit it!

I don’t often visit the “I Can Has Cheezburger” website, home to all things Lolcat, but I saw this image and– well. You will understand I am sure.

Of course it’s not really true, that “hear the ocean” thing.

Well, maybe when there’s a riptide…

Monday, May 19th 2008: Bucky T - my very own titanium spork - made it to The Big Time. Yes my feiends, Bucky T’s picture was featured on the front page of ThinkGeek!

That’s our Bucky T being held aloft by a trusty robotic minion!* Can you believe it? Is this totally cool or what?! It’s not still there - ThinkGeek rotates their featured products - but I saved a screenshot; click here (or click the pic above) to see Bucky T in full contextual glory.

Please join me in offering hearty congratulations to the inspiration for fine haiku, the stalwart, zombie-making facilitator extraordinaire, our one and only radioactive titanium star: Bucky T!

And if you’re feeling particularly generous, head over to ThinkGeek, buy yourself a spork, and tell them “Bucky T says hello.”

* I submitted the picture to ThinkGeek sometime last year. You can see a bigger version on the ThinkGeek :: Titanium Spork :: Action Shots page.

As your Radioactive Overlord I command you to Send Your Name to the Moon. Or at least read the linked web page, then decide if you want to be like me (and more than a half million other people) and Send Your Name to the Moon.

And while I’m probably neither the first nor the last to do so, I thought it might be nice to send a certain someone else to the moon as well.

Ms. Audrey Meadows - this one’s for you.

A space cadet’s salute of thanks goes to Twitterfeiend geosteph for making me aware of this opportunity. What about you, my blog feiend? Will you add your name to the NSA CIA FBI DHS IRS LRO database?

I’ve previously mentioned how I am addicted to occasionally use Twitter, a free instant messaging-type service currently used by well over a million addicts people.

Users send “tweets” - max 140 character messages - from a cell phone (SMS text message), a web browser, or a growing number of Mac and PC programs specifically created to manage and enhance Twitter usage. Tweets can go to just one person, to a group of friends (called followers), or to any number of users around the world. Twitter may not appeal to everyone, but I think it’s pretty cool.

However.

Thus far I’ve only used a computer to send and receive tweets. I don’t have unlimited text messaging enabled on my phone, plus ‘no full keyboard’ so phone-based twittering isn’t going to happen, at least for now.

Aside: today I learned of a new voice-to-text service specifically geared for Twitter users. If I ever decide to breach the wall of separation between Twitter and my cell phone, something like Twitterfone will likely be my modus operandi.

There’s another reason I don’t use my phone to send Twitter messages: I don’t want to suffer violent death in some road rage incident. Please understand the following sequence has not happened - yet - but if I start sending voice-to-text tweets from my phone… well.

bc: hey everyone i’m on my way to work stopped at a red light. first in line though lol! *send*

bc: still waiting at red light can u believe it lol! *send*

bc: green light finally! better get myself or at least my car in gear lol! *send*

bc: wow mister sponge bob angry pants waiting behind me sure must like hearing the sound of his own horn lol! *send*

bc: i’m waving to him hey buddy do you mind i’m trying to finish a tweet here so chill out willya lollol! *send*

bc: lol! forgot i had the parking brake on lol! uhoh he’s out of his truck and whoa he is big i better hey! quit banging on my glass you’re gonna *txt limit reached* *auto send*

So… yeah. No tweeting and driving for me.

Yet.

What about you, my feiends? Do you use your phone for text messaging? If so how often, and how many people do you communicate with using text?

As usual I’m just, you know. Wondering.

Don’t blame me, this is all blog feiend and Radioactive Docent Syar aka ^SRaD’s fault. This morning she tweeted* something about icky chicken and lo, the ever-ponderous wheels in my head started turning. To make a short story shorter, I’ve decided to start a fast food franchise featuring chocolate covered breaded chicken wings. The company slogan will be:

We put the ick in chicken.

Haven’t decided on a name yet, though Icky Chicken might fly.† Any other suggestions?

Update in a follow-up tweet, Syar wrote:

Should the mascot be oozing, and radioactive green? Seems only proper.

I’m for it. Maybe we’ll lose the chocolate and add a creamy, glowing green filling aka nukeage aka radioactive ooze. Get ready my feiends: Radioactive Chicken,‡ coming soon to an eatery† near you.

* Tweet = Twitter message. In case you were, you know. Wondering.
† So to speak.
‡ Please note this is not the Radioactive Chicken Heads, a fine geek punk rock band from Orange County, CA.